HAVE MERCY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

(i originally posted in 2004 on livejournal. much of which remains true today)



dear shoppers



the holiday time of the year has come upon us again. black friday is just around the corner and the most gleeful exchange of gifts is only a few short weeks away. most major retail venues have hoisted the cheery holiday swag, pumped the requisite holiday tunes into their sound systems, and have begun the traditional bombardment of holiday sales.



as you head off into the wonderful world of mass holiday merchandising to seek out those oh-so-perfect gifts that express all the feelings that you've kept pent up throughout the year, please remember this one thing: the customer service sales associate standing before you hates having to work during the holiday season just as much as you hate particpating in the rabid shopping frenzy.



so please:

* do not knock ALL of the clothes or toys off aisle tables- its not a game of see how long it takes for the associate to REDO the damn table. yes, you can navigate AROUND the tables without leaving a path of unholy destruction in your wake



* do not wander around shopping 30- 90 minutes AFTER closing time--- if you havent found what you're looking for by closing- THEN YOU WILL NOT FIND IT. get out! go home! let us poor associates go!!!! we want to go home too!!! because believe it or not, we are not allowed to leave the store until after the last shopper leaves. SO GO HOME



* do not leave your foul 300 ounce big swigs laden with saliva, lipstick, food stains, and children grime on counters, on clothing tables, in changing rooms or on floors--- and please don't expect us to put them in our trash bins--- we do not want your disgusting germs anywhere near us. go find a trash recepticle out in the mall that is far far far away from us.



* DO NOT PEE in dressing rooms (yes, it happens- but we prefer you pee in the restrooms-- you sick dirty bastards)



* do not VOMIT in dressing rooms (go home if you are that ill)



* give up on the GIFT RECEIPTS-- that only wastes register tape, wastes time-- and dammit- whatever happened to the old days when gift giving was about saying "Thank you" and lumping what you got rather than being about "Oh, it doesn't matter- If he/she doesn't like it then they can return it." ---this sort of mentality is what contributes to our throw-away society, it tells gift recipients that you really don't care if they like what you are getting them, and it also says that you really don't care to spend enough time with a person to determine what they like or dont like. and for you hard-to-shop for idiots--- stop being so damn picky, show your appreciation and love by accepting the gift and appreciating that someone made the effort at all--- remember for every gift you turn your nose at because it isn't perfect, there is someone out there in this world not getting any gift at all nor is spending any time with any loved one--- you should be grateful not picky or petty or obnoxious. Tell your kids/nephews/neices/cousins/etc. to SUCK IT UP... Christmas isnt about getting the perfect gift- its about being together. So wear the damn kitten sweater and get the hell out! OR GIVE GIFT FRIKKIN CARDS bastards



* and, yes- KEEP ALL OF YOUR DAMN RECEIPTS. if you aren't organized enough to keep the receipts of the things you purchase, then perhaps you should consider alternative gift giving ideas- like crafting homemade gifts such as ashtrays constructed of gum wrappers, paper mache and rubber cement. the more handmade it looks the more it looks like you care.



* and don't come back in March trying to return your damn christmas presents!



* and don't come back after you've worn your christmas presents looking to return them for cash refunds.





On a serious note:



INSIST that the associate taking your check or credit card is checking your identification. Even if your debit/credit card has your photo on the card. The more you make it clear to associates that you want them to verify i.d. the more associates will be forced to learn to do so.



For those of you who get insulted by being asked for your i.d.- get over it. I will ask for your i.d. I always ask for your i.d. I don't care that you've shopped my store for 20 years, have had the store's credit card for 10 years, or just used your card/check in another department 5 minutes ago, and say, "no one's ever asked for my i.d. before." I don't care. Have it ready- and make certain that it matches the name on your card/check, and make certain that it is current and NOT expired.



And anyone working in any industry that involves the exchange of payment for goods or services- Subway, McDonalds, Walmart, Target, JCPenney, Sears, Hallmark Cards--- doesn't matter where you work. You should ALWAYS check id, and never be afraid to refuse expired i.d. or question i.d. that looks fake or notify your managers when you suspect fraud.



thank you for taking the time to read this public service announcement. as always, shop safely, shop happily, and shop early.



That's it, I'm done. Putting the soap box away for now.

spiffy's Mobile post sent by brettbum using Utterli.  Replies.

Have Mercy This Holiday Season Part 2

First, I blame Wal-Mart. They are responsible and they will undoubtedly have a big lawsuit resulting from this that will not bring their former temporary employee back to life.



Second, there was a new report out today by the police reviewing the case. After watching the tape, they think that the employee, working as a security guard, was trying to help/save a pregnant woman, whom I believe also went to the hospital after the trampling. He was not only a victim, but a hero.



Third, if you are multiple months pregnant and you go to wal-mart at 4am on black friday, you have your priorities mixed up. I see this as a sign of the times and many things that are wrong with all of us these days.



Fourth, Wal-mart hyped this event and has hyped it for a number of years. Just like that Whitesnake or Great White concert where hundreds of people were burned to death, Wal-mart is responsible. It happened on their property, was incited by their advertising, and happened due to their lack of planning from hiring additional security, taking proper measures to insure that the doors did not fall off the hinges, even making something like a 'roped off' line into the store. Wal-Mart will deserve what it gets during this one.



Fifth, the people suffering from affluenza that actually bought something from that Wal-Mart that day, have blood on their hands. They may not have laid a hand or foot on the guard that died, but cumulatively they were each part of the problem.



Sixth, all people that went shopping on black friday are suffering from a disease. I call it affluenza, some people call it consumerism. This is not the time to spend money ridiculously on spending sprees focused in the month of december. If you want to do your family some good for the holidays, don't go buy them some mass produced crap and call it a christmas present.



Seventh, I'm not trying to say that I am above any of this. I didn't shop on black friday, but like almost all of you reading this (you bought a computer didn't you?) we are all addicts. The first step is to recognize the problem, the nature and form of the addiction. Then you have to do something about it.



Eighth, so do something about it already. Share this with someone, share it with everyone, help the people around you wake up and realize that all of this wasted time spent shopping is not helping our economy but hurting it. Its not helping our families, its harming them.



In the meantimes, happy holidays, and I hope you live to see the new year. You might just stand a better chance if you avoid big sales!



http://something-about-harry.com/

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Have Mercy This Holiday Season Part 2

I posted previously a rant/plea that I had originally concocted several years ago when I was a mere department store sales associate trying to survive the holiday season. With the new top story being the trampling death of a Walmart employee on Black Friday morning, at a suburban mall in NY State (20 miles east of Manhattan).



Its sad to think that I will have to amend the list of pleas to include: "Please don't trample the employees to death."



I mean seriously people- was it worth it? Jdimytai Damour was a real person trying to do his job- did this man have family? Is there now a child who will be spending Christmas without his father? A grandmother missing a grandson? And for what end? So you could get a dvd player for 25 bucks?



"Other workers were knocked to the ground as they tried to rescue Damour, and customers simply stepped over him and kept shopping even as the store announced it was closing because of the death, police and witnesses said." - What must the announcement over the PA system have sounded like?



"WalMart will be closing in 10 minutes because you selfish people trampled an employee to death. We will reopen after his carcass has been removed from the premises- for you that wish to continue shopping despite this horrific event, please note that paper towels on aisle 25 are on sale for 600 rolls for 25 cents."



I guess it was only a matter of time before someone got killed because of some kind of shopping catastrophe on Black Friday. Each year there seems to be one story thats even worse than those that came from the year before. Frankly, I think its plain awful that people behave in this manner.



I don't just blame the shoppers who buy into this annual mania, but also the stores who build and feed the frenzy. Each year opening an earlier than they opened the year before, encouraging long lines to camp-out for HOURS prior to opening. Having the "REALLY GOOD" discounts only during the first hour or two then dropping all the sale discounts back to normal levels for the rest of the day. Here's an idea- open your NORMAL frikkin hours, have Normal to REALLY GOOD discounts ALL DAY long- get more customers in the store ALL DAY long- perhaps sell MORE and make MORE MONEY withOUT getting anyone killed?



OK. Done with this rant for now.



Final note: To the family and friends of Jdimytai Damour, and the other people who were injured either trying to save him or just trying to survive the crush in general- my heart goes out to you all.



Url to article (one of many):

http://www.startribune.com/…01214.html



Url to my previous post:

http://www.utterli.com/…ODA0MDU3OA

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